Dear Expectant Mother,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my letter. Through thisletter, I will try to give you a sense of who I am, why I want to adopt, and how excited I am to be a mother.

Who I Am

When I was a little girl, my parents described me as a “people person,” because I was so curious about other people’s lives and experiences. I loved to pretend that my dolls and stuffed animals had personalities, and developed dramas and adventures for them. In high school and college, I knew that the work I most enjoyed-that didn’t feel like work at all-was when I could help other people. So I worked as a camp counselor, and did volunteer work in convalescent hospitals and childcare centers. After majoring in history and literature in college, I got a graduate degree in education so that I could become a high school English teacher. Being a teacher is an important part of who I am, and it never gets old. I still love connecting with my students and making my classroom a fun and supportive place.

In addition to being a teacher, I also think of myself as someone with a sense of adventure. After teaching in Chicago for eight years, I decided to spread my wings and see the world. I spent four years teaching English abroad, in Rome and then in Paris. Now that I’m back in the US, I  teach at a bilingual school in San Francisco. I also work as a one-on-one tutor and a freelance writer/editor.

Even though I’m a teacher, I also think of myself as a student. I can’t think of a time in my life when I wasn’t taking a course or trying to learn a new skill. I recently earned a master’s degree in creative writing, and now I also spend time writing my own short fiction and essays. I’m currently taking a French conversation class, and participating in a writing workshop. And I definitely like to clear my mind by leaving the books and laptop behind. I relax by listening to music or playing the violin, going to the gym, hiking, and attending plays, movies, and baseball games.

My Friends & Family

Though as a kid I was dying to flee the suburbs, now I love visiting my parents, who still live in the home where I grew up. My mom and dad have been married for over 40 years and have an extremely strong marriage. My dad is a professor and my mom is a social worker and photographer. While they are still active in their careers, both of my parents have always placed family as their top priority. During the summer, their house becomes crazy (in a good way) when they host both my sisters and their families for nearly a month. They have enthusiastically taken on the role of doting grandparents. Sometimes I think that they now prefer to be called “Bumpa” and “Mama,” the names their grandkids invented! They are excited to add another grandchild to the family, and are more than happy to babysit. When I look back at my childhood, I really admire my parents for never comparing me and my sisters-they loved each of us for who we were. Because of this, I know that they will welcome my adopted child with open arms and hearts.

Both of my sisters have children, and I have truly loved being an aunt. The time I have spent with my nieces and nephew has made me even more convinced that I would love to have a child of my own. I love seeing them learn new skills and helping them discover new interests, such as helping my nephew ride a trike all the way down the block, or singing bedtime songs to my nieces. My sisters live in Arizona and Texas, but along with their annual summer visits, I have taken trips to visit them. Closer to home, I also have a close network of friends in the Bay Area, who are eager to support me as I take on parenthood, and are already volunteering to be honorary aunts and uncles. One of my friends is a single mom and she has shared a great deal with me about her experiences.

Many of my hobbies and passions began during my childhood, thanks to my parents. As a child, I took violin lessons, hiked and camped in national parks across the US, and became a fan of baseball and old movies-all pursuits that  I still enjoy today. I feel grateful to my parents for giving me the sense that family can provide warmth in daily rituals-such as having dinner together every night, reading together before bedtime, and taking walks and listening to music together.  I also thank my parents for the adventures we shared as a family. I hope to travel with my own child, as well as exploring the outdoors and the arts.

Where I Live

I grew up only about 30 miles from my current home of San Francisco, but I have spent most of my adult life living far from California-first in Chicago and then in Europe. When I decided to return to the United States 5 years ago, I wanted to be somewhere pretty amazing. I decided on San Francisco because it is a fun and diverse city, plus it’s in a spectacularly beautiful natural setting. Equally important, I’m near my family.

Here in San Francisco, I feel very fortunate that natural beauty is a part of my everyday life-from taking walks along the coast or in the hills, to
seeing the sunset over the ocean from my home (that is, when the famous San Francisco fog hasn’t rolled in!) I live in a peaceful, residential neighborhood on one of San Francisco’s many hills. My home is a short walk from the ocean and Golden Gate Park. For kids (as well as adults!), the park is full of adventures: from feeding ducks in the pond and roller-blading, to visiting the Japanese Tea Garden. In recent years, I’ve taken my nieces and nephews on great outings to the city’s museums, the zoo, and fun neighborhoods like Chinatown. With all of the city’s activities, a diverse population, and the open spaces, I can’t think of a better place to raise a child.

Thoughts on Parenting

Based on all the time I have spent with my students, as well as with my own family, I realize that being a parent can be many things: exciting, exhausting, and unpredictable. Teaching and being an aunt have given me wonderful experiences with children, and now I feel ready and eager to devote myself to a child of my own. I believe that my patience and commitment to my child will help me through difficult times, and I look forward to many joyful experiences. I am fascinated by the way each child is a unique individual, and know I will be accepting of my child-helping him or her deal with challenges, celebrating his or her strengths, and providing unconditional warmth and love.

I have always been interested in the possibility of adoption. At other times in my life, I have sometimes chosen to take “the road less travelled,” such as when I decided to move to a foreign country. At this point in my life, I feel that parenthood is the next great adventure for me to pursue, and I am not troubled by taking an unconventional route to parenthood.  As a teacher as well as in my friendships and relationships, I have an open-minded attitude. I know it is possible to make connections and have loving relationships with those of other backgrounds.

About Donna…by Her Sister

When Donna told me she was interested in adopting a child, I was thrilled beyond words. I often think about what an amazing mother she would be. Here’s one example. This summer, my kids, who are about to turn 2 and 4, were fascinated by Donna’s violin. They danced and sang as she played fiddle tunes for them, and she patiently worked with my son on how to hold a violin. After we returned home, my son received a surprise package from Donna. She had written a special book just for him about a magic orchestra, which she then had my nieces illustrate. He was enchanted by the special story and it remains one of his favorite books today. I know that as a mother, she would be that rare parent that can understand and relate to her child through all the changes of childhood and adolescence.

The other qualities that I think will make Donna a wonderful parent are her sense of humor and her empathy. Donna loves to laugh, and she loves to listen. I know that a child in her home will always be surrounded by love, laughter, stories, music, and understanding.   -Nina

Words About Donna

Donna has been my daughter, Nazgol’s, tutor for three years. Nazgol adores Donna. She is kind and loving. Her professional expertise, her sweet smile, calm demeanor and unbelievable patience have brought great joy and comfort to Nazgol. We feel extremely blessed to have Donna in our lives, not only as Nazgol’s tutor, but as a great friend, advisor and confidante. We are truly excited about Donna’s decision to adopt a child. Donna will be an amazing mother. -Kathy N-T

Thank You

Thank you for reading my letter and considering me as an adoptive parent for your child. Please feel free to contact me anytime. I would really like to learn about you, and would be happy to discuss your hopes and expectations for the future. Please call me anytime at my toll-free number: 1-877-804-5649 or email me at donna.adopts@gmail.com. You may also call my friendly adoption attorney, Susan Romer at 1-800-U-ADOPT-US (1-800-823-6788) or email her at adamsromer@aol.com.