Dear Expectant Mother:
Hello, my name is Michael. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read this letter. Considering adoption involves courage and strength, and I thank you for exploring this important alternative, no matter what you decide. I hope this letter will help to introduce my family and me to you. I look forward to sharing more as we get an opportunity to know each other better.
I had the blessing of becoming a father through adoption more than four and a half years ago. Ethan, adopted at birth, has changed my life in so many wonderful ways. I love being a father and am excited to expand our family again through adoption.
A little about me
I am an energetic, warm-hearted and playful man from a large Irish-American family. I can be a little shy at first, but once I start to feel comfortable, then my social, mischievous side kicks in. I love to laugh and have a great sense of humor. I enjoy being with people and like to build a spirit of community wherever I am. Every summer, for example, I organize the July 4th family reunion weekend back at the Jersey Shore, where we can get north of 100 people for picnics, parties, pie-eating contests, egg tosses, talent shows and general frivolity.
Relationships are very important to me. So, I spend a fair amount of energy and time trying to be a good father, a good son, a good uncle/nephew/cousin or a good friend. When I grow old and reflect back on the people that mattered to me most, I hope to be at peace with my decisions and my choices. Sometimes that may mean taking a plane trip to the other side of the country to help celebrate a cousin's 25th wedding anniversary party or remembering to put in that phone call before a big test or a scary doctor's appointment or what have you. In all of this, I try to be thoughtful, considerate and loving.
Ever since Ethan has arrived, of course, he has become the dominant focus in my life. I am a hands-on, dedicated father, pouring my energy and heart into him. Whether it is in our bed-time routine, when Ethan rests with his head on my chest while he gets his 2 to 3 stories followed up by 2 to 3 songs (from nursery rhymes to the Beatles to ColdPlay), or in working together to build these intricate Lego models which have become his new favorite, I try to be present for him, using all of our interactions as an opportunity to help teach, help learn and show love.
Work also plays an important role in my life. I have built a very successful career based on hard work, a solid education and a healthy sprinkling of luck. After college, I worked in Japan for three years and then came back to U. C. Berkeley for graduate studies. I have helped launch three different companies, written a couple of books and for the past 10 years, I have been the CEO of my current company which advises clients on their global marketing strategies. My career adds excitement and financial security to our lives.
I also have many interests outside of work. I love to cycle, snowboard, do yoga, play volleyball, garden and travel. Sometimes I like adventurous trips, including white-water rafting in the Grand Canyon and hiking through the rain forests in Malaysia and Indonesia and sometimes I like relaxing trips, like the recent ones Ethan and I have taken to The Big Island of Hawaii and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I am also an avid reader, from high brow novels to low brow gossip magazines like US Weekly!
My son, Ethan
Ethan has been a total joy since that first day when he came home from the hospital. He is an inquisitive, energetic and out-going child, who is full of personality and has a heart of gold. He loves to play with his "Papa", and is flexible about playing with Batman or Spiderman action figures, Lego blocks, his racing cars or riding his bike. He is currently at a great pre-school and is in the "panda" room, and will go to a wonderful private school in San Francisco for kindergarten next year.
Ethan is very excited about the idea of us "having a baby." In fact, just the other day he told me that he wanted us to have two - "one little girl baby and one little boy baby!" As we have been packing up books or toys in his room, he keeps telling me to put them in boxes and save them for "our babies." He is an extroverted, social child, so I think that he just loves the idea of having more kids in our family and our home. He also just has a lot of natural tenderness and empathy for younger children - we see it when he is with his younger cousins and with the younger kids at pre-school. I just know that he is going to be an attentive and caring older brother.
My Family
Growing up in a large Irish Catholic family in the Philadelphia area, I have experienced what an incredible life-long foundation a strong family can provide. I have a brother and a sister, and more than 30 first cousins, who remain close to this day. My brother lives in San Francisco with his six-year-old son, who is Ethan's best friend, and his one year old. My sister and her boys spend 10 days every Christmas with us in San Francisco, and we see them periodically throughout the year. My mother recently retired, and she splits her time between Philadelphia and San Francisco, staying in our home when she is out here, usually for 3 to 4 extended visits a year, staying a total of about 7 to 8 months. She has been a very engaged "Nana" to Ethan and is very supportive of my desire to expand the family. I would be remiss not to mention Lola, as well, our 2-year old chocolate Labradoodle "puppy", as the final immediate family member. In addition to "Nana," the other two wonderful caregivers in our family who provide excellent help and support for Ethan
Home and Neighborhood
I have lived in San Francisco for almost 20 years and have strong roots here. We are fortunate to live in a quiet, beautiful house on a hilltop with panoramic views. I have worked hard to create a space that is both a sanctuary and a gathering place. I love to cook and entertain, and have designed a big open kitchen that is definitely the heart of our home. Sharing a meal and conversation with others is a wonderful way to stay connected and be enriched and nourished! Ethan and I also planted a big flower garden in our back yard last fall, which is probably his second favorite place to hang out, besides our big playroom.
Within a 10 minute walk from our home are four lively and ethnically diverse neighborhoods, all with great restaurants, shops and homes. Although we are in the city, we live on a fairly quiet one-way street with very little traffic. We have many playgrounds and parks within a short walk. There are plenty of young children living near us. I love our neighborhood, and am excited about the idea of raising a family and growing old here.
My Promise to You
I hope that you have a sense of the kind of person that I am and the kind of values that I would bring to my parenting. Your child will be loved with all of my heart and soul. I will create an environment where your child can grow and develop in whatever ways feel best, with the freedom to learn and to explore. I will ensure that my children have excellent educational opportunities, and make the most of the financial stability that my situation allows. Most importantly, laughter and joy will be a big part of our lives, as will a focus on kindness, caring and our broader responsibilities to family, friends and community.
Call Us
You can contact me directly via e-mail at michaeldunnca@yahoo.com or by calling us on our 800 number at 1-800-968-3103. I would be happy to answer any questions that you may have about me. You may also contact our friendly adoption attorney, Susan Romer. Call 1-800-ADOPT-US (1-800-823-6788), or e-mail her at adamsromer@aol.com. Her website is www.1-800-U-ADOPT-US.com where you can learn more about open adoption.
