You decide whether you would like to let them adopt your baby.
We are here for you to help make the decision that best suits your needs.
Xander
Dear Expectant Mother,
My name is Alexander but everyone calls me Xander. I have a lot of respect for your decision to consider placing your baby for adoption. My hope is that after reading my letter and getting a feel for who I am, we might be able to meet and get to know each other better. Thank you for taking the time to get to know a bit more about me.
I want you to know me, my values, and my commitment as a parent, so that you will not have to worry that you may not have made the best choice. I want you as a birth parent to have full confidence that the home in which you decide to place your baby will be exactly the kind of place you want your baby to grow and thrive, with much love and opportunity.
In My Own Words
My sister and I were raised in a loving home by a single mother in Boston. Though we didn’t have too much money, my mother worked hard to be sure both my sister and I had a wonderful education and tremendous life experiences. Thanks to her support and commitment, I was able to get scholarships to go to college at Yale. I also received my master’s degree at the University of California. I had the bonus of a second family for love and support, as my father remarried and had my half brother.
I am known for having a great sense of humor, being optimistic, dependable, loving, and kind. I don’t smoke or drink alcohol. My family and friends describe me as energetic and dedicated to a job well done. Apart from working and relaxing, I love to cook, eat, play board games with friends, and go for walks and hikes. I enjoy watching movies, reading and learning new things. Recently, I joined a mentorship program and am now the official “big brother” to a wonderful 9-year-old boy named Max. Together we’ve gone to baseball games, the kids’ museum, and the SF Zoo. As much as we’ve enjoyed those special activities together each week, some of our best times have been just talking about Max’s school, family, and goals for his life as a grown up.
I have created a financially successful life for myself in anticipation creating a family. I really enjoy my work and am fortunate to be very good at what I do and to work for a company that really values families, health and wellness. I develop new products and marketing programs for a food manufacturer. My work schedule is flexible and will enable me to devote plenty of time to being a hands-on parent.
I have thought a lot about how best to raise a child. I am not afraid of a lot of hard work and sleepless nights. In fact, the night my sister and her husband brought my newborn niece home from the hospital, I stayed up with the baby to comfort her in her new home. I feel parenting comes naturally to me. I truly enjoy time spent with both babies and kids, and have a great deal of patience and interest in learning along with them. My family and friends are all excited at the possibility of welcoming someone new into our lives. My parents are excited to help as “hands-on” grandparents; my sister, a mother of two, is looking forward to the play dates that we will be able to set up in the future. I also have several close friends who are really my local family and live nearby who look forward to providing me with support and assistance when I become a new parent.
I strongly believe that learning at home is just as important in the early years as pre-school or early grades. Education is very important to me and I look forward to supporting and encouraging a child’s endeavors throughout their formal education, as well as their possible artistic and athletic interests. Also, a balanced life is key for me. I feel it is important that children develop their own interests, personality, and skills so that they can be independent in the world. I realize that teaching a child right from wrong in this day and age may be a challenging endeavor. However, I want you to know that I am confident that I have enough patience and commitment to his or her future to be able to accomplish this.
My Home
I own my home, located in an ethnically diverse neighborhood of San Francisco, California, just minutes from beautiful parks, shorelines and playgrounds. There are lots of great schools nearby including an elementary school which offers Spanish-immersion classes -- which is terrific here in California where so much Spanish is spoken! I live in a condo-style building where there are many young children and I am friendly with my neighbors. Our building has a shared courtyard with picnic tables and a grill where everyone hangs out with each other’s kids, friends, dogs, etc! I also have two friendly cats, Rex and Xyla, who are just over a year old.
ABOUT MY SON (a note from my mom)
As a parent, I am so proud of Xander. He has always had a true curiosity and a real love of life, and this enthusiasm has led him not only to accomplish many things, but to help those around him. He is the kind of person who genuinely wants to share his knowledge to help others, so those around him can prosper and lead richer lives.
Xander has always been a nurturing and trusted friend to his younger sister. He had a major role in influencing her growth and development as a child. When he was young, Xander also started a babysitting service to earn extra money; he was the favorite in the neighborhood. As he got older, Xander led fun and creative activities for his friends, like an outing to one of the Boston Harbor islands where a half dozen friends would take a picnic lunch and explore a historic fort. In high school, he coached younger children in speech team activities, helped with music practices, and even started a singing group with his friends in high school. He was also active in sports, such as cross-country running, swimming, and bike riding.
One thing that has always been unique about Xander is his lifelong passion for foreign languages and diverse cultures. He has studied French, Thai, German, Spanish and other languages. He has also had the opportunity to travel to Central America, Asia, Africa and Europe and always comes back with thoughtful insights that show his sensitivity to, and respect for, other cultures and perspectives. He has a diverse group of friends of various ages, ethnicities, and talents, who have all told me how excited they are to be able to participate in Xander’s family life with his child!
As an adult, once he accomplished a certain level in his professional life, he eventually became interested in having children of his own and starting his own family. Xander embodies a certain level of peace and confidence that is necessary for parenting. In observing his relationships with friends and family throughout his entire life, I know that he will be a committed, loving, supportive, engaging and endearing father.
ABOUT MY BROTHER (a note from my sister)
Throughout my childhood, Xander was always a very supportive and involved older brother. He patiently helped me with my homework, even when he still had his own homework to do. He was, and still is, a fiercely loyal and protective ally to me, always looking for ways to help and solve problems.
Xander is very involved in helping raise my two-year-old daughter Lulu and my newborn daughter Cleo. Lulu delights in seeing her uncle, literally jumping up and down in glee when Xander walks in the room. Tirelessly and with the dedication of a parent, he reads to Lulu, plays with her, has changed many of her diapers and given her countless baths. Xander is always helping me figure out what is best for my daughters, whether it be their education and learning or their sleep schedules. I very much look forward to my girls having a new baby cousin!
I have no doubt that Xander will be an amazing parent. He has the ability to love a child unconditionally. His love and commitment will promote in a child what is most important for their development: a sense of independence and strong self-esteem. I know this because he nurtured these traits in me and my daughters, and naturally embodies them himself.
I Believe that Together We Can Create a Bright Future
Your hope is to find someone to unconditionally love and care for your child. My hope is to begin my family through open adoption. I also hope that I have communicated enough about myself and that you might be interested in meeting with me to learn more. I look forward to hearing from you. Please call me toll-free anytime at 1-866-XAN-8236 (1-866-926-8236) or email me directly at xandersf@gmail.com. You may also contact my friendly adoption attorney, Susan Romer at Adams & Romer. Her toll-free number is 1-800-U-ADOPT-US (1-800-823-6788). I invite you to also explore her website, www.1-800-U-ADOPT-US.com where you can learn about open adoption.
Best Wishes to You,
Xander